The History of the Mini-Cow

If you have read my last post, which you should have, this will be a further explanation of the frequently mentioned mini-cow.If you have not yet read the previous post, you should. It is sitting right underneath this one. If you have not read that blog you will be completely and utterly confused. I suggest you read that blog. This one isn't going anywhere.



So now that we are all acquainted with ye olde blog, I am sure you are wondering what in the hell a mini-cow is, and why I am so fascinated with them.

A mini-cow is a fictional creature invented by me, mainly, and also my boyfriend. It will be real, though, as soon as I become a mad scientist and throw one together.

Mini-cows are in most ways identical to your average cow. They have a rather large head, and a stomach that bulges out on the sides. They are constantly covered in flies (although mini-cows get the honor of toting around mini-flies as well) and their tails are constantly flopping around, trying to shoo those little buggers off their backs so they can graze in peace. Mini-cows also have a similar diet to normal, average-sized cows. They will eat just enough grass so that the lawn will look neatly mowed when they are through with it. And yes, they still have putrid flatulence that send horrible amounts of methane gas into Al Gore's precious atmosphere.

The difference between a mini-cow and a normal cow is the size (if you haven't already guessed..) Mini-cows are about the size of a beagle. A small, adorable beagle. Due to this size, their voices are also very small and high-pitched. Instead of a meaty "MOO" from a large cow, the mini-cow sports a shy, quiet "... moo." that will leave onlookers squealing "AWW!" in awe.
When I create my mini-cows, after I've locked myself in a damp, eerie basement full of strange test tubes and electrical wires, they are sure to flood the countryside. Everywhere you look there will be another mini-cow, destroying the ozone layer and deeply upsetting Al Gore. The only way to reverse this devastating occurrence would be to destroy all mini-cows! But no one will be able to resist their adorable "...moo."

I Live a Life of Superstition and Jinxing

Last night I was so proudly telling my boyfriend that I had not been horribly sick in such a long time, and that that was rather odd because I usually catch some sort of bug at least once a year, and I take that opportunity to be a big baby about it and complain about everything. After informing him of this, I proceeded to knock on my desk -my wood desk- because I am superstitious in ways, and I did not want to jinx my healthy state of being.

I have reason to be superstitious, you see. About a month ago my dear friend was talking about getting a kink in her neck. I decided to mention that I had never gotten a kink in my neck and I thought it looked pretty funny when she showed up to school with her head tilted to one side. I did not find the need to knock on any wood products.
I woke up the very next morning with a kink in my neck.
My very first ever neck-kink. I spent 3 days not being able to look to the right without feeling like I was being stabbed in the neck with a very sharp knife. I no longer think it's funny when people come to school with tilted heads.

Now I am doubting the classification of particle board as wood. Because I woke up deathly ill this morning. Deathly ill and feeling rather dehydrated. Trying to fix this dehydration issue led me to discover that I wasn't even able to hold down water. Not even for a minute. So after getting rid of this obviously unneeded sip of water, I went into the living room and curled up in a ball of pain. My mom asked if i was okay, I said no. And then I fell asleep.
I woke up feeling better. I drank some water. And waited. And then I thanked my stomach for letting me replenish my cells. I spent the rest of the day sitting and eating toast and crackers.

My family had pizza for supper. I did not. My mom didn't think it was a good idea. I was angry, until I found the superfries. My mom said superfries should be fine, and since there really weren't that many left, I should just make the rest of the bag. I told her that I wouldn't be eating them all, because I was still feeling fairly sick. When they got out of the oven, I inhaled every last fry crumb without hesitation. Because superfries are just that good. I don't care if I stay up all night tossing fries, because now I am satisfied.


Do you consider yourself to be a superstitious person? Have you ever jinxed yourself?